Crawford prop ranch no longer needed

America's favorite phony cowboy, George W. Bush, will be ending his political career shortly when he leaves office for certain ignominy. As such, he'll no longer need the multi-million dollar prop that gave him "hick cred" when he successfully hoodwinked the American people (via the Supreme Court) into giving him the most important job in the world for eight years.

So he's selling that god-awful "ranch" and moving back to a more normal life, which for him would be that of any super-wealthy East Coast elitist, in a huge luxurious mansion with sprawling manicured lawns within a major metropolitan area. Because try as hard as he did, he could never quite scrub off the luster of extreme privilege and prep-school upbringing that's the hallmark of so many half-bright children of wealth who manage to coast through all the best schools because his pop-pop is a Senator.

However, retiring from politics won't make him any less stupid or incompetent. Indeed, we will be treated to the spectacle of him appearing at events like the Republican National Convention every four years, where they will grudgingly let him speak even though they'll be dreadfully embarrassed by him and his record.