"The White House today announced the name of the new Press Secretary to replace Scotty McClellan, who resigned the position last week. Sources tell Connecticut Bob that the new Spokesman will be the AFLAC duck."
"AFLAC duck has a long and distinguished career in public relations, and was until recently the Spokesduck for the AFLAC family of insurance companies."
"When asked to comment about his new position, AFLAC duck responded, 'Affflllaaaac!' and got run over by a train."
(Props to Anne, commenter at FireDogLake for the idea)