I had a bizarre dream last night

This was weird.

I dreamed that somehow I was on the "Tomorrow Tour" bus with Joe Lieberman. Perhaps through a paperwork error or something the campaign granted me access to the candidate for an interview.

So, I was aboard the bus, sitting across the aisle from Joe. Several campaign staffers were lurking nearby in the shadows. I looked around, and noticed that the windows were opaque for some reason. I had someone with me to work my camera, so I was able to interview the candidate.

I was aware that I was in the presence of something weird. Lieberman was pleasant enough, but there was something strange about him. When he grinned, I noticed his teeth were small but exceedingly sharp. His eyelids seemed to blink independently of each other. I began to feel nervous, but I'm a journalist and know that personal feelings have no place in reporting, so I started the interview.

My camera man was sitting behind me, and I saw the red light on the camcorder flick on. I cleared my throat and fixed my eyes on the candidate. He was watching me through half-closed eyes, seemingly sleepy but his body language was tense. He appeared to be ready to spring. I felt a trickle of sweat roll down my temple.

"Senator, how do you feel your chances are in the coming primary?"

Lieberman flinched as if I'd taken a swing at him, then relaxed and grinned, showing me those pointy teeth. I felt my stomach turn, as if I'd suddenly realized that I wasn't going to get out of this alive. The Senator stared at me with unblinking eyes as he answered.

"I have no doubt that the results will show the world I've won."

His answer was curious, but the icy look he gave while speaking to me creeped me out. I broke our staring contest and shuffled my notes, trying to give myself time to think up a follow up question. I heard the door of the bus slam shut and some giggling drifted in from the front. Panic bubbled in my throat as I framed another question.

"So, why is this primary happening?" I asked.

A scream ripped from the vicinity of Lieberman's face as he lept to his feet and bellowed, "I'm in this primary because Ned Lamont had the audacity to challenge me for my God-given seat in the US Senate! It's my seat, I tell you, ALL MINE!!!"

With that he turned and tore the camera from my friend's hands, smashed it over his skull repeatedly, and lifted his own head and let out a deafening, wolf-like howl. Oh Christ, I thought, he's finally flipped!

Meanwhile, there was shuffling in the back of the bus as my friend was dragged into the shadows, and a fierce roar erupted from Lieberman's staffers as they tore him apart. Lieberman turned to me, and his face had distorted into a ghoulish mask. Oh, I'm done for, I thought.

Then the bus lurched forward as it began moving, causing the candidate to stagger backwards. I lept out of my seat and ran forward, hoping to reach the door before the rapidly accelerating bus got moving too fast. A furry creature that resembled Sean Smith tried to block my way, but I grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed him in his face, allowing me to dodge around him. Something that looked like a scaly Marion Steinfels grappled with me momentarily, but I took my bottle of Poland Springs water and dumped in on her, dissolving her in a smoking, screeching mess.

I saw a Richard Goodstein-like apparition driving the bus, and he started to argue with me until he saw I wasn't a foot shorter than he, so I simply jogged around him and pulled open the door.

The bus was weaving crazily through the parking lot of the Senior Citizen's Center in Milford, and though the windshield I saw Barbara Boxer and Joe Biden dive out of the way to keep from being run over. Bill Clinton was sitting on the roof of the Center, his feet kicking in joy and laughing like a loon. I think he was drinking a can of "Billy Beer".

The bus was careening wildly towards a brick wall, and I had mere seconds to jump off. I looked back at my friend, but he was gone and the camera was nowhere to be seen. So I had to leap off the bus without the damning video tape. I hit the ground and rolled, and as I came to my feet the bus crashed into the wall, bursting into flames with a thunderous blast that knocked me onto my back.

I woke up at that moment, my heart hammering against my rib cage and panting as if I'd just run a marathon!

Yeah, that sure was a strange dream.

"Res ipsa loquitur"
We miss you, good Doctor