Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Bill O'Reilly talking dirty

To celebrate St. Patrick's day, the original Irish Spring (of Irony), Mr. Bill O'Reilly (via the "Village Voice") reads select passages from his tawdry exploration of the smut genre, the 1998 novel "Those Who Trespass".

These clips are from the author's reading for the audio book:

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

"Off with those pants."

I dunno about you, but listening to O'Reilly recite these pathetic lines is breaching a new level of "creepiness" that I didn't think was theoretically attainable outside of Hell; or maybe Branson, Missouri.

The third line is my favorite.

And by "favorite", I mean it's the one that inadvertently triggers the most horrifically vivid mental image of the four; something along the lines of O'Reilly standing there holding a stopwatch in one hand and a loofah in the other, while impatiently waiting for the breast cupping to begin.


No comments: