Thursday, October 09, 2008

Choosing a bumper sticker

It's not as simple for me as it is for most people to choose one.

I'm sorry to admit it, but I'm a bit of a bumper sticker curmudgeon.

You see, I do a lot of driving for work. Like, a LOT. Often while I'm stuck in traffic, the car in front of me is graced with a bumper sticker. One that I'll get to read for way too long if we're not moving very fast. Eventually, it starts galling me, and I get annoyed.

Mostly they're inane sayings or comments, like "My child is an honor student at Washington High". Like I give a shit how brilliant you think your dopey kid is. He's probably going to grow up to be an asshole anyway. Most people do. Get used to the idea.

These days, bumper stickers are usually political in nature. Obamas, McCains, a few Ron Pauls, even a Hillary that had an Obama sticker plastered over it at a 45-degree angle, so you could see the Hillary sticker beneath it.

Actually, I wished I'd gotten a photo of that one, because at the time (soon after the primaries ended) it supposedly represented the car owner's idea that he or she was a Clinton support until Obama won the nomination, and then threw their support to him. It was a bold and elegant statement of party unity that would have given me another blog post, at the very least.

But mostly, I find bumper stickers to be banal and hacky in nature. The only bumper sticker I've even put on my car in the last 20 years was the Ned Lamont sticker from 2006. The car (a 1987 Dodge Aires K) finally died, but you can still see the sticker I included as a sort of homage at the 1:10 mark in this short video I made back in December.

And it's not like I refrain from bumper stickers because I drive nice cars or anything. We haven't owned a new car since my wife bought her '98 Jeep Cherokee. Since then, it's been a parade of cheap used cars for me. It's the only way we can afford to keep the sailboat, our only indulgence.

Anyway, I finally broke down and got a bumper sticker for my car. I didn't want to be just another "Obama" car, because that takes little imagination. I wanted to show my support for Barack, but I wanted to do it in a more obscure way. So I finally decided on something a little snarky that might make the reader think, if only for a moment. Here's what I ended up with:

The funny thing is, the GOP base will see that bumper sticker and some of the dumber ones will arrive at the conclusion that I support McCain. Which, judging from the idiocy we're seeing in some areas of Connecticut these days, might prevent my car from being vandalized.

Now I've got to find a "Palisn't" sticker!

Or maybe, "Palincapable".

Go ahead and run with it!


Anonymous said...

Wow. Lamont really hurt. It hurts even more now that I have to watch Lieberman's one-man band singing the praises of McCain't and his idiot sidekick.
I ordered a ThatOne 08 T-shirt, but I am sticking with my bumper sticker (the only one I have ever had). "1-20-09. The end of an error." I think it brings hope to all of us.

carterman said...

Last year, while on a trip in Vancouver, WA, I was waiting at the airport when I saw a bumper sticker that I liked. It was simple and to the point. I could tell it was homemade with black permanent marker and hastily stuck on the back of a small, red, fairly new compact car. It said,

"Impeach the lying little shit."

No exclamation point, just a period.

Usually boring direct slogans annoy me. Generally I'm a fan of clever bumper stickers that conceal some hidden meaning or double entendre.

When I saw this one I felt a little sad. Then I laughed, jumped into my friends little red car (with the bumper sticker) and headed out to gets some dinner.

tessa said...

How did you know that I went to Washington High? (Go Eagles!)

CT Bob said...

UptowNYChick - Yeah, it hurt when Ned lost, but his amazing run for the Senate helped energize a lot of normally complacent voters into action. It brought the war into the forefront of the national dialog, and helped deliver the Democrats into the majority. Without Ned, we probably would still have a GOP majority in the Senate.

Carterman - great story. Homemade stickers (and T-shirts) deserve extra credit.

Tessa - sure you want to identify with the kid in that reference? I wasn't being very charitable there. :)

CT Bob said...

Christ, I should never have written this post! Driving to New Jersey this morning I was ultra-aware of every stupid bumper sticker on the road! I knew this was gonna backfire on me.

Anonymous said...

Vote yes for the Constitutional Convention!

Bob Symmes said...

Wait, I've an eveb BETTER idea -- Vote NO for the convention; vote YES on Question 2!

"The purpose of our Constitution is to protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority" -- Alexander Hamilton, 1788

oldswede said...

How about

Still unsure?
Stay home!


vagabondblogger said...

Just a tidbit on how to tell a primary Obama supporter from a general election Obama supporter. Primary bumper stickers, pins, sign, etc., all have a capital "O" only. General election stuff has the whole name "OBAMA" in capital letters.

My husband wants one that says, "That One!"

Anonymous said...

Bumper sticker from 06

Politicians and diapers need changing for the same reason

"The purpose of our Constitution is to protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority" -- Alexander Hamilton, 1788
and fanatics

CT Bob said...

VBB, that's pretty cool.

Anon, I like the Hamilton quote best, but it might not be readable on a bumper sticker.

I've been getting lots of feedback from people who see my "McCain't" sticker. They're digging it.