Tuesday, November 20, 2007

My love letter to Google

I love you, Google.

I'm usually not the type of blogger who falls so easily for a ginormous online corporate entity, especially when I didn't possess the foresight to purchase large amounts of your stock during the IPO, which would have pretty much made it unnecessary for me to continue working for a living...but that's beside the point.

You've always been a good friend to me, Google. That's what counts! There are other search engines out there, but they always seem to let me down. I know I can always count on you, Google, for lots of traffic to my website.

I appreciate all those little things you do for me.

When I look at the referring pages on my site meter, eight or nine times out of ten people are visiting directly from a Google search page. Sometimes as the result of very odd and occasionally disturbing search inquiries.

Simple things, like "CT Bob", or "Ned Lamont", or "dump Lieberman". But also really bizarre things like "Don't taze me, bro", or "Larry Craig sex", or "short ride", or "douchebag" (hey, I can't be responsible for the things that people search for!)

But you do so much more than that. Like making me the number one result when people search for the phrase "primary schedule". For that, you're the tops in my book! These days, people LOVE searching for the primary schedule.

And the result is an article I posted wayyyy back in November of 2006! Shortly after the election I found information on the 2008 presidential primaries and posted it. Months later I realized that a large percentage of my hits were the result of that one post. So I started updating it as the primaries began being shifted around in their states' efforts to "front load" the schedule.

The primary schedule began to take on the characteristics of a weather map. I needed to update the information almost weekly in order to keep it current. Nowadays I simply post the latest update date on the top of the post to let people know there have been changes. People are confused about the ever shifting primary dates, so they look to Google for answers.

And Google sends them here.

The article was a post from a year ago, and it's still generating over 1,000 hits a week. You know us bloggers...we LOVE hits!

So anyway, that's why I love you Google.

Just one thing...please don't ever break my heart.

I'd hate to have to take up with Yahoo!


Picky Eater said...

Well, you're not entirely faithful to Google, since you use a Yahoo email account.

I, too, used to be a Yahoo Mail user. (Still have an old one there that I occasionally check.) But last year, gmail changed my life. If you love Google, you'll adore gmail.

It's time, Bob. Come over to the bright side. Come to gmail. You'll never look back.

CT Bob said...

I can explain my polygamous ways...


...I'm practicing to be a Mormon?

(disclaimer: I know that Mormons don't engage in polygamy anymore...especially when it comes to internet search engines and email accounts)

Anonymous said...

I love Google too! Actually your site is now 3rd in the "primary schedule" search. However, your site is where I got the info I needed. Thanks CT BOB.

Bob Twig
Fair Lawn, NJ

CT Bob said...

Thank you, Bob.

Technically though, I'm #1 out of the real results, the first two being "sponsored links", meaning they PAY for their position.

I'd imagine that I'll drop down the list a bit now that I've brought attention to the fact, because the Internets has a way of punishing those who indulge in the sin of pride. We'll see.

]MeGalOmAnIaCk[ said...

I'll just want to tell something...

Google... I'm fucking in love of you to... I love u google..


Anonymous said...

This is fuckin' hilarious. I literally died.