In a surprise announcement, President Bush then named Microsoft Billionaire Bill Gates as his replacement. Bill Gates has absolutely no foreign policy or military experience, giving him the necessary lack of experience to ensure his rapid confirmation by the Senate.
Mr. Gates is expected to be at least as unsuccessful as Secretary of Defense as Donald Rumsfeld, gauranteeing 2 more years of total disaster in Iraq, and soon, in Iran.
UPDATE: I've just received corrected information that Sec. Rumsfeld's replacement will be ex-CIA director BOB Gates, not billionaire BILL Gates.
Sorry for any confusion that arose from this report.