Thank God (In Which We Trust...or would that be "in Whom we trust"? I dunno...) that the federal Government is taking as much time as it can to protect us from the possibility of being offended by someone with an American flag and a Zippo.
Do you realize there have been three...YES, THREE documented cases of flag desecration in the last year alone? Why, that's a total of 150 stars and 39 stripes being burned! And have you ever really thought about how Connecticut is represented by BOTH a star AND a stripe? That's like us getting burned TWICE in every flag!
Well, not on my watch we won't!
Thank God yet again, for the Government protecting us from being offended at any two people who want to marry and happen to not be members of opposing sexes.
Thank God. Really, thanks.
These are the two biggest issues that Congress has brought up as maybe needing an Amendment to the Constitution to protect us from.
I'm certainly glad these other issues are nearly as important:
The War in Iraq
Global Warming and Climate Changes
Our skyrocketing National Debt
Attacks on Constitutional Freedoms
The Israel/Palestine problem
Net Neutrality (mui)
Iran nuclear bombs
North Korean ballistic missles
The ballooning trade deficit
Tax cuts only for the wealthiest 1%
Yeah...no need to trouble ourselves with those minor issues, especially when there's a maladjusted hippie somewhere who wants to annoy his parents and get on TV.
That's WAAAAYYYYY more important!
UPDATE: President Bush desecrates an American Flag with black ink. I don't know about you, but I find this VERY OFFENSIVE!
(this article was written based on a comment by hugh at Fire Dog Lake while I was channeling Stephen Colbert)